Playing judge is one role most females are especially good at and as such the need to pass their verdict becomes almost irresistible, this is probably why when you think gossips, backbiting and slandering they are the first culprits that come to mind.
If you’re too quick to judge, you’re likely to find yourself in one of these categories, if you aren’t there yet then you better watch out so you don’t fall into it and if you’re already into it, find a conscious way out.
She is too quick to come to conclusions about the actions of others, she doesn’t give them a chance to explain themselves, or give them excuses for their actions she just passes her judgements – which is more often than not wrong!
A very good example of miss judge’s attitude can be seen when she says teslim (greetings) to a lady who for some reasons doesn’t answer her, she reaches the conclusion that the lady didn’t answer because of the difference in the sizes of their hijabs, or that she’s arrogant and proud, or that she’s a terrible muslimah who doesn’t spread the salam, or that the lady simply hates her, what is most appalling is what happens when she sees others trying to greet someone like that lady whom she had just passed her verdict on, she’ll go – oh don’t greet her, she won’t answer you, it’s the way they are!. (like seriously?) Whatever happened to giving your sisters excuses?
Miss judge didn’t consider that maybe the lady didn’t answer because she simply didn’t hear? Or maybe she heard but she had too much on her mind? That she’s probably going through a tough situation!
What happened to confirming news before spreading it? Miss judge won’t consider asking her why she didn’t reply, she’ll just assume and jump into conclusion, this is wrong.
I am not affirming or denying that there are arrogant people who don’t respond to the teslim (that’s besides the point), what I am saying is that you should delay your judgements, by jumping into conclusion you stand a chance at being wrong, at spreading wrong information (not that it’ll be OK to spread it even if it were right), you think badly of people who are probably good, and by delaying your judgements you’ll learn to give people excuses, think better of people, mind your business and become a better person altogether.
Miss Have you heard
She’s the newscaster, she knows what’s happening with everyone and she’s only too happy to share. How she got the news is a story for another day, today’s concern is with the distribution of information about others – which they’d rather keep private – simply because it is true.
Spreading news about people – even if it is true – is backbiting, the fact that you were asked or you volunteered the information doesn’t make a difference, it is still backbiting.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Do you know what is backbiting?” The Companions said: “Allah and His Messenger know better.” Thereupon he said, “Backbiting is talking about your (Muslim) brother in a manner which he dislikes.” It was said to him: “What if my (Muslim) brother is as I say.” He said, “If he is actually as you say, then that is backbiting; but if that is not in him, that is slandering.”
Backbiting is a grave sin – both for the person saying it and the person listening – so save yourself from it.
Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “During the Mi`raj (the Night of Ascension), I saw a group of people who were scratching their chests and faces with their copper nails. I asked, `Who are these people, O Jibril?’ Jibril replied: `These are the people who ate flesh of others (by backbiting) and trampled people’s honour.”’
So while we’re busy playing judge, let’s remember the judge of all judges, he sees and knows all we do – public or private – and his judgement is final.