“If you’re tired of starting over, quit quitting” I saw this somewhere and I couldn’t stop laughing, it was almost like the picture was made just for me – crazy right? Not really, considering that I was in the middle of telling someone about my new blog when we saw this, he totally believes that the picture was, made just for me. Do you think so too? You probably do and I can’t even blame you. Anyway, I made a post on my new blog tonight, and just so you know – I am just as lazy at it as I am here so no! I am not quitting the meek chic – no way, I love the meek chic. Continue reading “Quitting”
It’s ‘the’ season again, at least it is beginning to look like it, but I don’t particularly like this season, and the reason is very simple – there isn’t much for me to like about it. Are you shocked? Don’t be, I’ll explain shortly, the first thing one might like about it is the weather, which is normally cool and naturally festive, but sadly in recent years harmattan has refused to come around and all we get is this stale weather that leaves me with a soar throat and a blocked nose in the mornings while the rest of the day is as hot as can be – believe me that’s not very likable. Then there is the noise – Good God! – a lot of noise accompany this season and the most annoying of which are the bangers – cheap fireworks that are all noise and no light – kids play around with it on the streets, sometimes it startles me so much so that it takes a while until I finally remember that it’s just some silly kids, and other times you just might mistake a gunshot for banger and run into trouble – you’ll agree that this is another not very likable thing. One thing most people look forward to around this time is the holidays, but I’m not working yet, and school wasn’t always stressful anyway so it doesn’t make much difference to me.
What’s left? What am I missing? Oh I remember – Christmas, I don’t celebrate Christmas so there’s no reason for me to like it – yeah, you heard right no Christmas wishes coming from here – I’ll make sure to tell you why, but in another post please, and sadly most people leave the city for their hometown around this time – I say sadly, but of course that’s not the case, everyone is happy to go back home after a long year, but our usual buzzling area, which I’m used to by the way, becomes so … How do I put it? Not very likable still. What else is there to not like about this season? I think that’s all I can think of for now, Oh wait there’s one more thing, it’s about the only thing that I like – the entire city has been painted red! And I mean this literally and not figuratively, every house, every corner, the clothes, the cars, everything is just red, and I love red – the color red – in all of its shades, be it blood red, tomato red, maroon, red red or you name it, I love them all. You know, there are some colors that you just get tired of seeing – take the green that has been accompanying the red for instance, the trees are already green, a lot of houses are painted in one shade of green or the other so what exactly is the need to still decorate every where else with green? Personally, I find it exhausting. But it’s a little different with red, because red isn’t quite the color you see a lot on regular days, and I really really like red. People around here tend to associate the color to evil and danger, you know -witches, wizards and the likes, if ever one was to dress all in red on a regular day that person is sure to find at least one person to ask him – are you an oracle or something?Yeah, I know, it’s really crazy, but not surprising at all, until recently my mum didn’t like red much too, wouldn’t let me wear it- it’s a kind of tradition I think – but these days, she doesn’t mind, I can wear red all I want, except that I don’t own a lot of red – sadly so. I guess now you can see now why it pleases so, to see all the red that accompanied this season, I can’t decide which ones I like most if it’s the shoes or the dresses, I think I’m leaning more towards dresses. People can go right ahead and keep all the red year round and I wouldn’t even mind, but I guess they would so I would just enjoy the sight while it lasts.
Peace be with you…
Whenever someone asks of me; how’re you feeling and I say something like I really don’t know they think I just don’t want to tell them, but truthfully I never could tell what a feeling was but I could – more often than not – tell what it feels like, I sometimes wish that there was an app that I could just input what I’m feeling into and it’ll tell me what the feeling is, it’ll be really nice to have an app tell you that you’re crazy – wouldn’t it, hmm I think not. But sadly there is no such app, or is there?
More than on any day I really wish for that app today, it’ll be nice to name this feeling right now, I don’t know if I’m glad, sad or mad, or if I’m feeling all 3 together or simultaneously. Yeah, it’s a little chaotic right now.
I know I’m strange, like really really strange but then again if I knew exactly what I was feeling then it’ll be too boring to write about, it’s just great to be able to make a great post out of ‘I don’t know what this feeling is’or isn’t it?
If I told you that I had no idea what it meant to be hungry, would you think me weird, or silly, Or maybe that I’m just being naughty, or wait let me guess you’ll think that I was craving attention and couldn’t figure out a better way to get it because it’s totally unreasonable to insist on not knowing what hunger was, or is it? I know that some people will agree with me in that even they haven’t ever had a want for food, not even once!
Now let’s not get on over our heads, alright? If nothing else, one thing of which you can be certain is that I am a Muslim and so even if I were some royalty who never wants for anything -which I’m not – then you know that I fast for at least 30 days a year -yup, it’s compulsory – so now you know that it’s impossible that I’ve never been hungry.
Hum! So what exactly is this post about really? I mean I start off saying I don’t know what it meant to be hungry and now I’m saying that I’ve definitely been hungry before, why does it sound so complicated and a little ridiculous?
It’s ridiculous alright, even I feel as such but I really don’t know what hunger is, now you must know that there is a difference between being hungry and knowing that you’re hungry. What I’m saying is that I get hungry but I never recognize the feeling, I never understand it, I don’t know it, I just know that sometimes I feel severe headache that no drug could cure, or I might notice my body shaking of its own volition, or that I was feeling dizzy without being sick, and not once have I ever suspected that it was hunger, not until someone makes me eat and the horrid feeling evaporates will I realize that it was hunger all along.
What do you take of that? Do you think that I’m a little stupid or silly for not realizing that I was hungry? I’ll tell you what, I’m neither stupid nor silly, I just always thought that hunger would manifest as a kind of sensation in my tummy and I would just know that I’m hungry, but it rarely ever happened that way if it ever did, and in my quest for the reason for this I have come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe I got a little too used to it, so much so that I don’t recognize it until its passed the stage of hunger to starvation and now manifests as the headache or the dizziness and shaky body. I remember a time when things were like that, when you only ate what you saw and never what you wanted, me being weird as I am never did quite want anything but there were several things that I didn’t want and I remember that it was always those things that we had, so I would just not eat, I wouldn’t whine or anything, hell there wasn’t even enough to go round so it was unlikely that anyone would notice that I didn’t eat, I remember that we never had lunch, I guess it’s why I still don’t eat lunch – even when I can afford to – I remember feeling weak to my bones, I remember wanting for food to eat, I remember a lot but strangely I don’t remember being hungry, I guess it must have become a part of me at some point. Now there is enough to go round and some left overs, I’m certain of a meal for dinner and the next days breakfast, I even get to choose sometimes but still I remember, because if I always remembered then I would know how that poor hungry kid on the street must be feeling, and I would be kind to people who had the guts to ask rather starve, I would understand why a kid would steal food -though I don’t approve of it, I can reason why an elder would go to any unspeakable length to feed his younger ones, even though I don’t approve of it, I understand. So I would be kind still, I may not know what it is to be hungry but I’ve sure felt the effect of it and I must say that it isn’t very pleasant, actually it isn’t pleasant at all.
Thus, I’m saying that you feed the poor and hungry -to the best of your ability – for no matter how little you have, a lot of people have much less, if someone stops you on the way to beg for money, give as much as you can and if you can’t do that at least be kind them, you wouldn’t understand how terrible the feeling which makes you abandon your pride is until you’ve felt it, in the real sense of it.
P. S Weirdo has nothing to do with this post, but I couldn’t think of a title for it so I guess that’s weird in its on way.
Peace be with you…
I had the scare of my life tonight, if truth be told the entire family did and everyone just handled the fear in their own weird way, there was denial – refusal to admit that anything worse could happen (we all did hope that it wouldn’t but there was a great chance of it), there was logic -if this is as it was before, then all is well (well, not necessarily), and then there was paranoid – with the what ifs which pushes everyone further into their current emotion, and there was outright depression – there’s no explaining that. And then there was me, I wasn’t quite sure what I was feeling -though I’m still shaken -but I did manage to keep things together, I ran the errands and did what needed to be done while everyone else got to worry. It’s really difficult not to worry when you get the kind of scare which makes you wonder if tomorrow will truly come -of course you know that it will but will you want to see it? It’s the kind of scare which makes you remember all the good that you’ve postponed and make a resolution to get to them, as soon as all becomes well again, it also makes you remember all the evil that you’ve done – no matter how insignificant it seemed at the time -you then by all means seek forgiveness. It’s the kind that you’re grateful it’s over but you aren’t really certain that it is. It’s one of the things that happens.
Peace be with you…